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Makwa
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Posted: Tue Nov 27th, 2007 02:46 am |
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I am so frustrated i can hardly stand it. I am dealing with chronic and severe back pain, due to trauma-induced arthritis (surprise, surprise), bone spurs, bulging discs and degeneration. In other words, i'm a mess. I have qualified for a serious back operation with i have declined to get, due to the depressing prognosis and long, excruciating recovery period.
so, i'm working with a chiropractor, my third in nine months to be exact. I tell them all the same thing. LIsten, I have chronic SEVERE pain. No, I don't want medication. I want to get well. I have very high tolerance for pain EXCEPT WHEN IT IS BEING INFLICTED ON ME. It's very simple. You don't need to beat me up. My body will do what it should with a very little pressure and encouragement. By the way, i have a history of severe child abuse.
So why is it that they don't listen? Why do they think they know me better than i know myself? I've gone into mild shock 3 times now (shaking, shivering, cold....boy i know that feeling. it happened all growing up) and today, vomiting. i was so embarassed. i just sat in the bathroom, next to the toilet and sobbed. I swear if that bathroom had a back door, or even a window, i'd have crawled right out of there. i told the dr. look. you don't have to do that. just put my body where it's supposed ot be and it will fall itself into place.
Of course, my sweet husband was kind enough to point out to me that it's likely a memory....he's lucky he was calling from the office. LOLOL but i'm crying too. i just wish there were doctors, etc. who found it valuable to LISTEN to the patient. To buy into the notion that the owner of said body is the definitive EXPERT on it. Am i crazy?
well, that's for a different topic. i just needed to vent and cry. and shiver some more. thanks for listening.
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Breaking the shell
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Posted: Fri Nov 30th, 2007 03:16 pm |
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I'm sorry your chiropractor doesn't listen to you and your body, I am used to 'traditionally' trained medics behaving in this way but hope and expect 'alternative' practitioners to be more 'mind and body' oriented.
Our minds and bodies are one. You will not succesfully treat one without consideration of the other.
Have you tried the Alexander Technique as a way of helping your body? I have been learning/practising it for just over a year now and find it enormously helpful when it comes to releasing body memories. Sometimes these are released via the mind which is not so pleasant, but mostly the technique just releases the tensions in my body that result from the memories and that cause physical problems. There are lots of websites on the technique if you want to know more.
There are many people out there who believe in and practise the holistic approach to health. You deserve to be helped properly, so don't give up and shiver away - I think shivering is good. It freaks my husband like hell, but I feel it is a way of releasing some of what is traped inside me.
Last edited on Fri Nov 30th, 2007 03:20 pm by Breaking the shell
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Makwa
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Posted: Fri Nov 30th, 2007 10:41 pm |
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| Thanks for the tip. I've also looked into EFT and am thinking about getting more training in that. I will look up the Alexander technique. I'm open to just about anything....
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Breaking the shell
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Posted: Sat Dec 1st, 2007 08:57 am |
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| What is EFT? I don't think I've heard of it before.
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Makwa
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Posted: Sun Dec 2nd, 2007 01:36 am |
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| Emotional Freedom Technique...I think you can google it EFT and it will come up. It is a theraputic tool for helping with all kinds of pain. It is being used by lots of different therapists and helping professions. it's easy to learn and it's relatively inexpensive (there is a woman here who is doing this for the community for free).
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Mending Soul
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Posted: Sun Jan 6th, 2008 06:26 am |
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Makwa,
I've missed you...thanks for the info on EFT...I will check into it...how are you? I hope you're hanging in there...I know it's been a pretty difficult year for you...I hope things are better for you in 2008.
I've been through the ringer with medical practictioners too...Over the past 10 years, I had a podiatrist destroy both my feet...went through 3 years of broken feet and 3 reconstructive bonegraft surgeries with an orthopaedic surgeon...and during that time, had an MRSA Infection in my bones that the podiatrist had introduced in his diabolical surgeries... I had cervical spine surgery for ruptured disks and damaged nerves during that time too...and the infection spread to the spine...so I was on a PIC line for daily IV's for 9 months...and of course my feet are completely ruined...(I have a malpractice case pending in appeal - that whole first trial is another sad story...)anyway- I was also misdiagnosed as having fibromyalgia...when in fact I had aortic femoral artery blockage...it took 7 years and multiple specialists (even one who told me my pain was in my head) to diagnose it...not one single doctor ever bothered to check the 'pulses' in my feet!!! By the Grace of God...I found a Nuerologist who knew what was wrong within the first 2 minutes of my visit...so, was referred to circulatory specialists and had to have Aortic femoral bilateral bypass...I also ended up with another MRSA infection after that surgery and had to go on a PIC line again...and during that time, I was having small strokes...15 of them (they call them TIA's) and the doctors kept telling me I was having 'vasospasms' as I kept losing my sight temorarily...finally I had a bigger stroke and after going to the ER...was referred to a Nuerosurgeon for brain surgery to clip an anuerism which was on the optic nerve....on and on and on...I've dealt with so many 'quacks' over the years...that I now have an extremely bad attitude about 'conventional' medicine...and prefer holistic medicine and healthy eating...the medical community and drug community is so geared to making money...that to just teach 'healthy' living without drugs, etc would bankrupt them...so they have a financial interest in keeping people sick...
Anyway...I finally opted for lumbar spinal surgery this past summer, despite the long recovery...because despite still having pain issues...it's better than it was...and now I am looking forward to arthroscopic knee surgery this coming week...(I have a knee with torn cartiledge and it keeps 'locking' and it's so painful to 'unlock' the knee)...so I am hoping to be walking better soon...although I still have an inflammed lumbar nerve that needs epidiurals...but I have my hopes set on returning to work this year sometime...I am sick of being on disability...
I hope you are able to find a 'chiropractor' or 'nuerosurgeon' who will help you with your back pain and who will 'listen' to you and treat you as a person, not a 'case'...
I finally learned one reason why I've been so sick for so long...I have 'genetic' cholesterol disease...which of course causes all sorts of illness, including the blood vessel issues I've had...it's taken 11 years to get that diagnosis...!!! So, I understand your frustration with medical practitioners who will not listen to the patient...I've actively pursued medical doctors, pain clinics, chiroprators, etc that will listen to me...and have walked out of the offices of doctors who insult me...and have reported and held accountable medical persons who have harmed me, or mistreated me...and I know I've only been able to stand up for myself because of the support and help of others, especially the support of other recovering victims...
So, Takwa...I'm behind you...I support you and your voice...and understand your frustrations...
Let me know how you are...you are in my heart.
Cathie
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Makwa
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Posted: Mon Jan 7th, 2008 04:37 pm |
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| Hey there. SOrry it took so long to get back to you. was gone for the hols and then new years eve got a nasty bug. today is my first attempt at a full return to my life, although i'm shivering and wanting to crawl back under the covers and rest a little longer. things are looking better for me this new year, although xmas was exhausting and debilitating, falling into the "yet again, giving more than i can afford to give" category. recovering now. my health, other than that seems to be doing better. at least my back is. i went for almost 3 weeks without seeing my doctor and i'm still in better shape than i was in November, so maybe i turned a corner. i'm too darned tired to make the drive just yet but i will probably make an appt for wednesday. this is about all i can even write for now. i'll be in touch. hope your hols were safe and happy and that the new year brings you good health too...
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