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Lorus
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| Joined: | Sun Jun 10th, 2007 |
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Posted: Sun Nov 4th, 2007 12:12 pm |
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I've tried those natural light bulbs and they do cast a different light. Their brighter and cleaner. By cleaner I mean regular light bulbs cast a yellow/brown kind of hue; natural ones are clear. It helps when reading and just sitting in a room.
I also try to look at the winter months as a rest period. I do a lot more running around during the warmer days, so I use the winter months to clean house and make any needed changes. (no spring cleaning needed) When I was in school, I added more classes to keep my mind occupied and studied more. I try not to think of it as a depressing period, I try to find ways to use what seems like extra time for things I never have time to do. When springtime comes, I'm ready to run outdoors and enjoy the return of nature. I'm also ready to fulfill more of my dreams and put some new ideas to work.
Lorus
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Lorus
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Posted: Sat Nov 24th, 2007 01:30 am |
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I've decided to bake cookies this holiday season. I like baking and freezing them, this way they'll last for a few months. I also discovered if I freeze them, my kids won't eat as many because they can't wait for them to thaw out. More for me! I'm re-claiming what I like to do, one thing at a time. Why should I lose out on enjoyment in my life, when my abusers can't find it in theirs? If possible I'll try to make less time for them and more time for living the life I deserve.
Lorus
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Mending Soul
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| Joined: | Sun Oct 14th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Feb 28th, 2008 04:21 am |
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Lorus,
I baked cookies again this year too...and ate too many of them  !!
I handle the deep depression and isolation of the winter months by getting involved in something that takes me out of my home...either a class...or volunteering for something...something that takes me out of myself...and forces me to think of others and of other things...
January and February for some reason are the hardest months of the year for me...I am assuming I have some 'not remembered' memories...because I get so depressed in January and February...and of course...February is the month I tried to kill myself 17 years ago...so I imagine that's part of it too...
January is a hard month also, because I had to put my dogs down last year in January...and I figure I was trying to 'not remember'...and found myself really down and then realized what day it was...it was the 1st year anniversary of their deaths...So...I grieved all over again...but that's ok...they were my best friends...
Anyway...I am really glad February is almost over...March, even if it's cold, means spring to me...and spring to me means a 'new beginning'...so...I wish a new beginning today and everyday to each one of you...my comrades in healing!
Cathie
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Breaking the shell
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| Joined: | Thu Nov 22nd, 2007 |
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 02:17 pm |
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I guess it's really Spring now but I have just discovered a wonderful activity - doing nothing and expecting nothing of myself.
My husband has taken our kids to visit my family, something I really didn't want to do and so I plucked up the courage to tell my Mum I wasn't coming (my Dad has been dead for a few years so I have no worries about the children's safety). Needless to say she tried to make me feel guilty but for the first time I withstood her attempts at manipulation and I am here, at home, all alone, for 4 days and it is absolutely wonderful. I am doing just what I want, when I want. I am not having to think of the needs of my children or my husband.
Not long ago I couldn't have done this - if I hadn't been feeling guilty for putting myself first, I'd have panicked that I had no friends and nobody wanted me.
I also realised this morning what a hard time my husband must be having living with me. I need to put myself first and do what I need to do to get better, yet I feel guilty doing it, so I don't do it properly. As a result, my needs end up being put aside and I become a martyr.
And yet he still loves me.......phew!
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Lea
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| Joined: | Tue Mar 4th, 2008 |
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Posted: Tue Mar 25th, 2008 04:08 pm |
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Good For You!
Good for you on multiple levels, for standing your ground with your mom, for not panicing, for all the work you've done to get to this point. I know, I really know how hard all of those things are.
And we are all works in progress, don't be so hard on yourself about your husband.
Enjoy your time!
Lea
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