Does anyone ever feel compassion for their abuser? - Emotions - Emotions

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Does anyone ever feel compassion for their abuser?

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AP319
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Posted: Sat Aug 16th, 2008 01:57 am

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Last edited on Tue Sep 16th, 2008 04:10 pm by AP319

scw4survivors
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Posted: Sat Aug 16th, 2008 03:57 pm

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Anne,

It's always hard to navigate these waters ... they're cloudy. We're supposed to honor our mother and father ... and we're supposed to honor ourselves, too. That gets to be really, really hard to do when our parents did not honor us.

A friend of mine, who happens to be a minister, recently shared with me some stories about her childhood. Her father did not abuse her sexually ... but, when she -- at the tender age of 5 -- was caught alone in the stairwell with a man who made her take off her overalls, there were no adults around who could care for her. It was one of her 5-year-old friends who showed up later with a baseball bat and told her that she'd hit the man if he came back.

She asked me recently to join her in praying that each of us could find a way to honor our parents while honoring ourselves, too.

I guess this is a long way of telling you that I don't think you're protecting him or lying to yourself ... I think you're trying to find a way to honor your father -- who did some really awful things to you, but he is still your father. So, you're navigating those cloudy, muddled waters.

May God be with you to guide you ...

Blessings,
Susan

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