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scw4survivors
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| Joined: | Wed May 30th, 2007 |
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Posted: Wed Aug 8th, 2007 12:16 am |
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Last night my husband and I went out for a walk. We're trying to exercise and be healthier. I would like to pick one route and keep walking it so we could see signs of progress (making better time, feeling less stressed). My husband likes to change things up. I'm trying to go with him on this, so we walk a different route each night.
Last night I suggested we head out toward the middle school that is about a mile from our house and loop around and come back. He agreed. But, about two blocks into our walk, he took us through a wooded park and off on a different route.
I didn't like it ... I didn't like it at all. It didn't feel right. Yet, it seemed so irrational to become so upset over a change in our route.
I kept not liking it. It was dusk, and the sky was getting darker ... and I didn't know for sure where we were. Our city grew up along a river, so streets rarely do what you'd expect. There are a lot of dead-ends ... streets changing names ... and streets not intersecting in the way you expect them to.
The longer we walked, the more I hated it.
Then it finally hit me ... I was reliving a Halloween from my childhood ... not a happy one. My grandfather took me trick or treating in his neighborhood. It was dusk. The sky was getting darker. I didn't know the streets. Then he made me do something really awful in a dark yard.
It gets so frustrating sometimes to have things like this pop up when I least expect them. I guess the good part is that I was able to figure it out fairly quickly and tell my husband what was going on.
How do you handle the memories that become too real in the now?
We're supposed to go walking again in a bit. It will be dusk ... the skies will be getting dark ... this time I'll insist that we stick to our agreed-upon route.
Thanks for listening.
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PEG
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Posted: Wed Aug 8th, 2007 12:40 am |
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Memories are hard to deal with. I do see the victory in you dealing with yours - recognizing where the bad feelings came from, expressing it out loud, and then being able to be in control and insist on doing what feels best for you.
I am encouraged by seeing how you handled it. I am just beginning to realize how my memories truly affect me - seeing that they affect others too helps me to see that I am not just going crazy.
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Lorus
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| Joined: | Sun Jun 10th, 2007 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 9th, 2007 12:48 am |
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| I know what you mean, I had another memory a few days ago. I handled it okay but kept shaking my head because I couldn't believe it happened. I keep saying to myself it wasn't my fault. This was my fathers fault. I was a child who should never have been subjected to these kinds of things. This kind of helps me to start putting the memory in its place. It's still not easy but easier than before.
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TeresaJones
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Posted: Sun Aug 12th, 2007 01:28 am |
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I know how feelings/memories like that can feel I actually ended up going to the hospital be cause I ended up hyperventalating and I was pregnant. What set everything off was I was outside with my husband we it was dark and I went from smiling to being scared to death I didn't even have time to relize it was coming it just came and hit me like a slap in the face.
The memories are getting better I ended up getting on medication and I also decided it would be best for me and my daughters if I had nothing to do with my family since they don't believe me.
Teresa
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