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carie
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Posted: Tue Sep 4th, 2007 04:40 pm |
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I had to give an autobiography in my aoda class last week. It was the hardest thing I have ever done In my life,five of the people in t5here were men and one woman besides me. I was shaking and having a panic attack while I gave it. The two weeks before this while I was writing it I kept having anxiety and panic attacvks every time I thought about it. After I gave the autobiography I realized that not everybody thinks I'm a bad person for what happend to me and I haven't shook since. I should tell a little about my past. At the age of three I was mollested by my father. From the age of 6 on I have been molestedc by mny uncles and step-dad. Mstep-dad raped me almost every day from the age of 12 to the age of 18 and kept it up until about a year ago. I was raped by a family friend when I was 12,the same day my stepdad started. When my uncle got out of prison he raped me twice that was three years ago.
Sorry this is so long just needed to talk about it. talking and writing are my way of coping.
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Lorus
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| Joined: | Sun Jun 10th, 2007 |
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| Posts: | 99 |
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Posted: Wed Sep 5th, 2007 03:50 am |
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Hi Carie,
Talk as long as you want. I found talking hard but am learning the value of letting it out. I write like crazy and this has value too. Sometimes I need to talk about what I write.
I also had to give an autobiography in school. To my surprise there were younger girls with horror stories as well. One with a rape, one with a sister that was molested, not to mention the physical abuse others suffered. I didn't tell my story but wanted to do something to that effect. I felt I should wait and after discussing it with my therapist I chose to wait. I keep writing and will have a lot of pages to be read when I'm done. I now know the good effects talking and writing is having and I would tell anyone to talk your head off and write until your hand is numb. It's better your hand is numb and not your feelings.
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~carmen~
Member
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Posted: Wed Sep 5th, 2007 08:20 am |
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| Dear Carie, I am so amazed at your strength despite the anxiety and such! To be able to talk about yourself when you know your story isn't nicest one, is definitely a challenge, but you did it, and that is a big step you took! Don't apologize for writing however long you do. Writing is also my way of letting feelings out, and I'm glad to know that there's someone out there like me whom I can relate to. Stay strong and know that you're an amazing survivor!
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carie
Member
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Posted: Wed Sep 5th, 2007 11:34 am |
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| thanks for the reply it helps. I also do a lot of writing. That was the only way I could talk about it up until about a couple of months ago. My therapist would read it and then we would talk about it if I could. Idon't know if I could ever read it again. I go to a support group now and am starting to talk more there now too.
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